ex-wife

2 souls match yet is now a memory drifted with a flash.

Memories haunt me.

The drugs cloak the pain, but temporary pleasures can’t stop it.

I miss her, I don’t miss her.

She loves me, she doesn’t deserve me.

Make up your fucking mind. Do you want to be with her or not?

So much issues and built up aggression

I wish I could say I wasn’t like most men

She deserves the best, why continue and build up something that will create a mess?

I can’t help that I’m a big mess.

The mess builds up and I’m a lonely boy it infests

She was great to me, all I did was push her to what I wanted her to be

How could I be so selfish.

A conflicting mind with excuses to make him feel fine

While she continued to hold on and so hurt she continues to cry

I don’t want you to cry.

I love you, but I’m only half the person that is good inside

I have demons, too many to lose a battle to your angels

You were the best thing I had

And all I did was create excuses and get mad

I wish I was simple. Simple like you so that everything would be smiling dimples.

But I complicate myself, I overanalyze, and then I lose myself.

I’ve tried to heal and I just wish you knew how I feel.

The thing is, I’m damaged.

I don’t want you to carry my baggage.

She asked me to blow, “make a wish.”

I blew and I blew, and I wish and I wished..

 I did my best = (, I really did. but so damaged I couldn’t comply.

I wished that every doubt would have just disappeared and I could be yours and you could be mine.

But the dark half side of me wouldn’t let any light in.

The road to what I dreamed to be happily ever after was no longer a painted picture of smiles

People are accountable for their own actions and decisions

I know you made the decision to be with me.

I know you took the risk.

In my heart though, I want to say that I am sorry.

I didn’t want to break your heart.

There are many things I wish I was.

There are many things I wish I could change.

 Many things I wish I felt. 

We painted a beautiful picture for the people to see.

And I tried to make it real. My selfishness ended up ruining you. What is wrong with me?

No human should be an experiment.

I’m not good as people think.