Wednesday, September 25, 2013

I Just Don't Get it

Dark, aching, depression, rooted from suppression.
Emptiness unfilled soul moping through this robotic lifestyle
Each day the same, a race against time, like a forced boring game
No friends and family only slave laboring independence
Feelin shitty, feelin like a bus should hit me
beat me down to death, eat my soul and spit it back out
Somewhere else, anywhere but here
Give me a chance to get out of here with an opportunity
I will surely leave without any doubts or anticipated fears
Fuck this desk and chair
Fuck these work clothes and my fake voice when answering phone calls I swear
Fuck love and feelings that develop naturally
Driving myself into the need to sniff cocaine to numb all the pain
Numb the pain, Numb it all til the ingested nasal bleeds
I took the numbing route
Which makes me a bitch for running from it all.
I choose quick thrills and temporary escapes
I'm a lonely and unhappy soul blind to the truth I watch it fall
Give me a gun so I can shoot myself or find a tree that I can hang from
Shoot myself in the face so I could end this torcherous baggage I carry daily
Desiring everything that is never mutual, I go through life like a fool
Wanted by none that I desire, aching pain, just burn me in the lake of fire.
Same story different day, different generation, different place.
The pattern of my life which causes me to live spiteful.
Confused and complicated.
Things aren't in order. They make sense and they also never do.
Broken Hopes.
Life enjoys making me happy but also momentarily stabbing me
Where are the drugs so I can feel a little bit happy?

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